Here’s a theme coming in hot this week. Our ability to set boundaries is related to our self-esteem, willpower and our self-trust. When we are clear with our boundaries – physical, mental, emotional – we are giving others guidelines within which to treat us.
With clear boundaries we show the universe exactly what we want and don’t want. And what I mean by that is, when you have a clearly defined boundary, there is a shift in your energetic body. There is a shift in how you manifest and what you call into your life: the people, experiences, opportunities.
And yet this seemingly simple practice can be very challenging.
Have you ever continued to draw the same things into your life? The same situations, the same people, similar partners, scenarios. This is usually a good indication that something in your energy field is drawing these things in. There is some lesson to be taken. Some growth to be had and perhaps a boundary to be made.
Recently, I was in a place with a partner where I was accepting and brushing off certain behaviours. I was accepting his behaviour even though it wasn’t okay with me. I wasn’t setting boundaries. I was choosing to ignore and pretend. I was pretending because at the time, pretending felt safer than being honest. Pretending felt safer than being strong. I knew that if I was strong that would be the end of our relationship. And ultimately that’s what it came down to. When I set my boundary, it was over. Isn’t it interesting how we fear our own strength?
Fundamentally, the act of setting boundaries allows us to know ourselves better and to trust ourselves better. Boundaries are key to ensuring relationships are respectful, honest, open and based in mutual understanding. Yet why can they be so challenging to construct?
Perhaps we have a hard time setting boundaries because in some situations, the boundary means it’s the end. The boundary means no more sex. Which might mean no more friendship, when perhaps it was friendship we were in search of all along. The boundary might mean no more alcohol or no more of a certain type of food. The boundary might mean facing that things are going to change.
A Manifesto for Setting Boundaries:
There is power in saying no.
There is unforeseen strength in setting boundaries.
I do not say yes when I mean no.
My voice is my power.
I will use it.
Now louder than ever.
I give myself permission to say no when I mean no.
This is how I grow.
This is how I allow those around me to grow.
This is how I get stronger.
This is how I teach the collective woman to evolve.
This is what I’m working on this week. The universe has been testing me and I’ve been saying yes when I mean no. So this is me checking myself and hopefully giving you a nudge to check yourself. Where can you create stronger, healthier boundaries? Where can you show up for yourself with more honesty? Where does your sense of true power come from? I can assure you. It comes from a place deep within that is rooted in honesty with compassion. Vigor with softness. A peircingly delicate no.
Good luck. We got this.